Tips for loved ones how to reconcile your lover


 Leave a private space

Psychiatrist Hal Schori explains that leaving a private space for the partner or lover when a problem occurs in the relationship can give him the time needed to calm himself down, as some people may need to spend some time on their own to think or get rid of their negative feelings, and in this case the following must be taken into account: 1]


Avoid attachment to the partner: one of the partners may need to spend time alone while the other does not feel the need for it, so be aware that clinging and attachment may make matters worse, unlike the time it takes for the partner to think alone, which may strengthen the relationship in the long run.

Meditation: It is recommended that you take time to focus on your own thoughts and feelings.

Avoid punishment: If the partner says that he needs some time alone, his desire must be respected and not taken on a personal level, or refrain from seeing him and talking to him as a punishment for that.

Choose words carefully

Dr. Holly Parker, a practicing psychiatrist and lecturer at Harvard University, advises avoiding repeating the cause of the problem or using phrases such as: I am sorry, but, or this is just because you always, when reconciling with the partner, it worsens the problem, as you must choose words that make the partner feel the desire for reconciliation And avoiding the use of expressions that tend to hurt feelings, escalate the problem, blame, and point the finger at the partner, by insulting him, reminding him of the past, screaming at him, and making harsh, critical, or even sarcastic comments, and others. [2]


Acknowledge a mistake and avoid being interrupted

The offending party must acknowledge the behavior that he took and speak that he caused harm to the partner emotionally, physically, mentally, or otherwise, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it is evidence of bearing responsibility, intent to reconcile, and improving the relationship, as it should. Avoid interrupting and allowing the partner to express his feelings without fear of retaliation, interaction, or defense from the other party, as this proves to the partner the importance of his apology and the desire of the other party to listen to him. [3]


References

↑ Kristin Wong (3-3-2015), “How to Get Your Relationship Back on Track After a Terrible Fight”, lifehacker.com, Retrieved 10-12-2018. Edited.

↑ Suzannah Weiss (21-3-2017), “7 Things To Do After A Fight With Your Partner,” www.bustle.com, Retrieved 10-12-2018.

↑ Linda Bloom, Charlie Bloom (26-8-2013), “Read This Before You Apologize to Her (or Him)”,

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